In four weeks, my life will drastically change as I drop off my firstborn at college. After setting up a new dorm room and getting acquainted with the young man who will spend the next nine months living in cramped quarters with my son, Steve and I will search the recesses of our minds to see if there is anything we’ve forgotten to tell Scott… and then all our years of nurture and training will culminate with a hug in a parking lot in North Carolina.
How can that be? One day I was balancing a toddler on my hip and waving at the “big yeah-yoh cool bus” and the next day I’m reminding that toddler-turned-teen to balance his checkbook regularly… and check the oil in his car before leaving for a trip... and wash his sheets at least once before he comes home for Christmas…
And as I part ways with this person who has been at my kitchen table almost every day for the past 19 years, I will return home… to that table… and empty chair... and I will cry. I’m not a weepy person by nature, but I have a feeling that there will be no shortage of tears as I mourn the constant chatter… and the cluttered bathroom… and the messy bedroom. There will be none of Scott’s chatter in the hall or his toothpaste in the sink or his clothes on the floor. It will be QUIET and the silence will be deafening.
As I watch him become less dependent on his parents and more dependent on his Lord, I remember the words of John the Baptist: “He [Jesus] must increase, I must decrease.” (John 3:30) For my son to become the man God has intended him to be, the LORD must increase in his life and his mama must decrease. And that brings me great comfort. And relief! It is good and right that I have less influence in his life, but it won’t be easy and it will be an adjustment.
So my life will drastically change in less than a month, but the reality is that life can drastically change in an INSTANT. As the Lord allows those changes, how will we respond? While mourning is normal and healthy, it can’t continue indefinitely. At some point in time we need to begin the healing process and adjust our lives to a new ‘normal.’ It is never easy, but it is worthwhile. When we allow the Lord to increase and fill those voids with His comfort and His presence and His strength, He proves Himself faithful in ways we can’t imagine.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
A Provisional Predicament
I just returned home from a FABULOUS week in Isle of Palms, SC. This quiet resort island outside of Charleston is one of my favorite places to vacation. I was introduced to IOP by some of my tennis buddies, and we've been going there for our annual girls' weekend for over 10 years. It's gorgeous!
Vacation was a little different for me this year because the whole family didn't get to go. My son is recovering from shoulder surgery and has bi-weekly physical therapy appointments, so he and Dad stayed behind while I took my daughter and her friend. We had a great 'girls week' but we have to admit we missed the boys.
The trip from Roanoke to IOP takes about seven hours and I've driven it many times, so it's familiar territory to me. But traveling alone with two teenage girls made me a little wary, so I made sure we were 'prayed up' before the long drive.
Our return trip home was to include a stop for lunch with my sister in NC, so I got up early that Saturday morning to have my quiet time and one last sunrise walk on the beach. I had just finished reading one of Andrew Murray's classics, "Absolute Surrender" and his writing was on my mind. One of the things I prayed that morning was for the Lord to help me be absolutely surrendered to Him no matter what happened that day. And then the day began...
I loaded the car, woke up the girls, and took my shower. We jammed all the last-minute things in the back of my little suv, and I sent everyone back for a potty break. (We ARE girls, remember!) I decided to start the car so it could be cooling off, but when I stuck the key in the ignition and turned it - nothing. Oh there were some lights and the radio, but not a click from the starter or a grunt from the engine. Total SILENCE... which meant... call AAA! (And PTL for AAA - in these moments I am SO glad I pay those annual membership fees!!)
After talking with the helpful Carolinas AAA rep, we decided to send out a guy to give me a battery boost, but the fact that I had lights & radio & horn probably indicated a problem other than the battery. But I would cross that bridge when I came to it.
The AAA guy could not have been nicer. He was a kind grandfatherly type, and very friendly and helpful -- and a typical southern gentleman. So once we got the car started, he suggested that I get the battery checked before I headed back to Virginia. He explained why that would be important, recommended a couple of places and then wished me well. So I loaded up the ladies and we left the island.
I needed gas so I stopped at one of the giant gas marts, being careful not to turn off the engine lest I become stranded again. (And if you're thinking that refueling with the engine running is dangerous, I thought that too until my husband told me that it was safe. What you CANNOT do is START the car while you're pumping gas. Because of the sparks, and all. And that made sense to me.) So as I was cautiously pumping my gas, a big guy with a bigger truck pulled up next to me, and his truck was loaded with produce. And I could SMELL it... peaches, cantaloupes, tomatoes... so we started talking, and before I knew it I was trying to find room for five pounds of Carolina peaches and a giant cantaloupe!
Then I stopped at the battery place, which just happened to be next door to a Starbucks. You don't think that was an accident, do you? I sent the girls for coffee while I begged one of the guys in the shop to please bring his tester out and let me know if I would have to join the throng of people waiting to have their cars serviced. This sweet young guy had mercy on me, tested it, and told me that while he'd love to sell me a new battery, it was showing a full charge and he couldn't do that in good conscience. But there was a dealership a couple of miles away that was open and could probably run a diagnostic test on their computer to let me know if it'd be safe to start home.
So we climbed back in the car and headed for the dealership, which just so happened to be open and not that busy. They took my car straight back, ran some tests, and then determined that the problem WAS the battery, and they could replace it and get me on the road in 30 minutes! So while my plan for the day was thwarted by a faulty battery, God's plan for my day was NOT.
My new friend BB, the AAA tow guy, explained what would happen if I left town with a fading battery. It seems that the on-board computers for recent-model cars need to have a certain amount of power available to run the car. If it can't get it from the battery, it will pull power from the alternator until the car slowly loses power and comes to a stop. (I actually had something like this happen one time when I was in college, and I knew it didn't want that to happen again.)
As I was traveling west on I-26 between Charleston and Columbia, the Lord reminded me of BB's advice. The speed limit on that stretch of interstate is 70 mph, which means traffic flows at 80 mph. As I cruised along with traffic, I thought about what it would be like for my car to slowly die along that road, how I would maneuver it off the road to a safe place, and what I would do stranded out in the middle of the steamy Carolina countryside with two teenage girls...
But I believe the Lord was watching out for us that morning by giving me the gift of a dead battery. We had no real schedule to keep that day so we weren't all that inconvenienced. If it had happened earlier in the week, we'd have lost beach time. If it had happened later, say... on the trip home, it would have been a potentially dangerous situation.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 tells us to rejoice always, pray continually, and give thanks in all things. I admit that I smiled when my car wouldn't start because after praying to be absolutely surrendered, I knew it was a test of my patience. I decided to be thankful even though I had no idea why a dead battery could be a good thing. I just wanted to be surrendered to Him regardless of what the day brought because I trusted that HE knew what was best for that day. And EVERYDAY.
Vacation was a little different for me this year because the whole family didn't get to go. My son is recovering from shoulder surgery and has bi-weekly physical therapy appointments, so he and Dad stayed behind while I took my daughter and her friend. We had a great 'girls week' but we have to admit we missed the boys.
The trip from Roanoke to IOP takes about seven hours and I've driven it many times, so it's familiar territory to me. But traveling alone with two teenage girls made me a little wary, so I made sure we were 'prayed up' before the long drive.
Our return trip home was to include a stop for lunch with my sister in NC, so I got up early that Saturday morning to have my quiet time and one last sunrise walk on the beach. I had just finished reading one of Andrew Murray's classics, "Absolute Surrender" and his writing was on my mind. One of the things I prayed that morning was for the Lord to help me be absolutely surrendered to Him no matter what happened that day. And then the day began...
I loaded the car, woke up the girls, and took my shower. We jammed all the last-minute things in the back of my little suv, and I sent everyone back for a potty break. (We ARE girls, remember!) I decided to start the car so it could be cooling off, but when I stuck the key in the ignition and turned it - nothing. Oh there were some lights and the radio, but not a click from the starter or a grunt from the engine. Total SILENCE... which meant... call AAA! (And PTL for AAA - in these moments I am SO glad I pay those annual membership fees!!)
After talking with the helpful Carolinas AAA rep, we decided to send out a guy to give me a battery boost, but the fact that I had lights & radio & horn probably indicated a problem other than the battery. But I would cross that bridge when I came to it.
The AAA guy could not have been nicer. He was a kind grandfatherly type, and very friendly and helpful -- and a typical southern gentleman. So once we got the car started, he suggested that I get the battery checked before I headed back to Virginia. He explained why that would be important, recommended a couple of places and then wished me well. So I loaded up the ladies and we left the island.
I needed gas so I stopped at one of the giant gas marts, being careful not to turn off the engine lest I become stranded again. (And if you're thinking that refueling with the engine running is dangerous, I thought that too until my husband told me that it was safe. What you CANNOT do is START the car while you're pumping gas. Because of the sparks, and all. And that made sense to me.) So as I was cautiously pumping my gas, a big guy with a bigger truck pulled up next to me, and his truck was loaded with produce. And I could SMELL it... peaches, cantaloupes, tomatoes... so we started talking, and before I knew it I was trying to find room for five pounds of Carolina peaches and a giant cantaloupe!
Then I stopped at the battery place, which just happened to be next door to a Starbucks. You don't think that was an accident, do you? I sent the girls for coffee while I begged one of the guys in the shop to please bring his tester out and let me know if I would have to join the throng of people waiting to have their cars serviced. This sweet young guy had mercy on me, tested it, and told me that while he'd love to sell me a new battery, it was showing a full charge and he couldn't do that in good conscience. But there was a dealership a couple of miles away that was open and could probably run a diagnostic test on their computer to let me know if it'd be safe to start home.
So we climbed back in the car and headed for the dealership, which just so happened to be open and not that busy. They took my car straight back, ran some tests, and then determined that the problem WAS the battery, and they could replace it and get me on the road in 30 minutes! So while my plan for the day was thwarted by a faulty battery, God's plan for my day was NOT.
My new friend BB, the AAA tow guy, explained what would happen if I left town with a fading battery. It seems that the on-board computers for recent-model cars need to have a certain amount of power available to run the car. If it can't get it from the battery, it will pull power from the alternator until the car slowly loses power and comes to a stop. (I actually had something like this happen one time when I was in college, and I knew it didn't want that to happen again.)
As I was traveling west on I-26 between Charleston and Columbia, the Lord reminded me of BB's advice. The speed limit on that stretch of interstate is 70 mph, which means traffic flows at 80 mph. As I cruised along with traffic, I thought about what it would be like for my car to slowly die along that road, how I would maneuver it off the road to a safe place, and what I would do stranded out in the middle of the steamy Carolina countryside with two teenage girls...
But I believe the Lord was watching out for us that morning by giving me the gift of a dead battery. We had no real schedule to keep that day so we weren't all that inconvenienced. If it had happened earlier in the week, we'd have lost beach time. If it had happened later, say... on the trip home, it would have been a potentially dangerous situation.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 tells us to rejoice always, pray continually, and give thanks in all things. I admit that I smiled when my car wouldn't start because after praying to be absolutely surrendered, I knew it was a test of my patience. I decided to be thankful even though I had no idea why a dead battery could be a good thing. I just wanted to be surrendered to Him regardless of what the day brought because I trusted that HE knew what was best for that day. And EVERYDAY.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Start Me Up!
Welcome to my blog! I love God's Word and hope that the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart will be acceptable in His sight, and also a blessing to your soul.
I am passionate about praying the Word, so the majority of my blogs will be topical prayers. Please feel free to share comments!
Blessings in our Lord Jesus Christ,
Susan
Rom 15:13
I am passionate about praying the Word, so the majority of my blogs will be topical prayers. Please feel free to share comments!
Blessings in our Lord Jesus Christ,
Susan
Rom 15:13
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