Honor Your Father & Mother

Today I taught one of my favorite Life Group lessons as we studied Ephesians 6. I love this practical letter and I love the tidy way it's written: chapters 1-3 are WHO we are in Christ, chapters 4-6 are HOW we are to behave. Like a lot of our congregations, the Ephesian church didn't seem to have any glaring problems, so this letter from Paul was a lot like a friendly pep talk. Who couldn't use one of those from time to time!

Chapter 6 is a familiar passage to a lot of us, mainly because it follows the dreaded chapter 5. Paul has just addressed the relationship between husbands and wives (namely submission, which is actually a good and helpful thing if people would take the time to learn what it really IS). He now continues his instruction on harmony in the home as he turns his attention to the parent-child relationship:

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother'--which is the first commandment with a promise-- that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." ~Eph 6:1-4

For many in our class, our child-rearing days are long past. Even though it is hard to discipline kids, no matter WHAT age, the benefits are SO worth it. Undisciplined children are never happy or satisfied, and they are disappointed in relationships because they can't always get their way. They also don't respect authority in the home, which means they won't respect authority OUT of the home. It's a parent's job to train and instruct their children so they can be mature adults who know who they are in Christ and how they are to relate to others. Even when our children are adults, we can still instruct and train by talking to them about our mistakes and the things that concern us as we age.

And aging parents... that's something many of us are dealing with now. There are special considerations with aging, particularly when mental faculties become impaired. I have several friends whose parents are in the throes of dementia and Alzheimers. How tragic it is to watch your parents become forgetful, lose their independence, and even forget who you are. There are tough decisions to be made and they can often put family members at odds with each other. While there are no easy answers and every situation is unique, full-time supervised care is often in the best interest of the parent and the family grieves over those decisions.

Sometimes family dysfunction makes it difficult to honor and care for parents, but regardless of the level of dysfunction in the family, and since we're all flawed I would dare say that every family has at least a some level of dysfunction, our parents have made sacrifices for us and love us and it's our responsibility to honor them. In fact, we are commanded to honor them AND it's the first commandment with a promise - if we honor our parents, things will go well with us and we'll live a long life!

(Please understand that I'm not trivializing dysfunction. When there are serious issues like abuse, it's VERY important to find a godly professional counselor who can help sort through those issues. Healing isn't easy but it IS possible. We serve a God who raised Christ Jesus from the dead and He can also breathe new life into dead or dying relationships.)

We brainstormed some ideas about how we, as adults, can honor our parents. We came up with a great list:

• spend time with them
• talk with them
• ask questions about their history
• understand their personality
• ask them for advice
• include them in your life
• be thankful for them
• look out for their best interests
• forgive them 
• be gracious to them
• respectfully listen to them tell stories over and over and over :)

(I will confess that I am more than mildly convicted here and have a lot of room for improvement.)

One funny thing we admitted is that every parent has eccentricities and idiosyncrasies, and they seem to become more pronounced with age. To protect the innocent (and keep peace in the family) I won't list any of them here, but YOU KNOW what I'm talking about! Sometimes we feel like we need to step in and try to correct them,  but that's not always the case. Sometimes it's just something that gets under OUR skin and others find endearing and amusing. And that led me to this epiphany:

If it doesn't endanger their LIFE (physical health and safety) or their LIVELIHOOD (financial situation, well-being, independence), LET IT GO. Understand their individual personality and temperament, and appreciate their uniqueness. And when you feel yourself groaning or feeling frustrated, just take a deep breath and remember - they are providing you with stories to tell your grandchildren!

Being able to graciously and patiently smile at little irritants will go a long way in keeping harmony in the house, and more importantly it will set an example for OUR children, because before long WE will be the aging parents with the idiosyncrasies and eccentricities ... How will we want our children to treat US?

The Power of Prayer in the Life of a Christian

What is prayer?  Simply stated, prayer is talking to God.  I find it interesting that so many Christians are uncomfortable praying.  I can understand being uncomfortable praying in public, but praying should be as natural to us as breathing.  So why isn’t it?

I think some Christians make praying harder than it needs to be.  Some feel their prayers are more meaningful or carry more weight if they’re offered in a church.  Some think prayers are only for certain times.  Some think that praying is best left to the professionals – vocational ministers, lay leaders and those who are “good at it.”

But praying is actually pretty simple. We can pray anywhere and anytime, and ANYONE can do it! We just need to understand a few simple components.

When we pray, our focus turns to God and away from ourselves and the world.  Sure, our worries and cares are still there, but our focus isn’t there.  We focus on God so we can know Him better and understand His will in our situation.  He doesn’t expect us to come to Him with a head full of potential solutions and a mouth full of eloquent words, He only expects us to come in:

• Humility – understanding that only He has the big picture for which He alone has the answers, and 
• Faith – believing that He will answer us and wants what's best for us.

Prayer has four basic components:

• Praising Him – for Who He is (almighty, all-powerful, all-knowing, sovereign…)
• Thanking Him – for what He does (the blessings He gives us, even blessings-in-disguise)
• Confessing to Him – the sin that is between us (because it affects our ability to listen to Him)
• Asking Him – our needs and the needs of others.

One of my favorite prayers in scripture is found in Ephesians 1:15-21:  "For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come."

In this prayer, Paul praises God as the source of hope, wisdom and power; Paul thanks Him for the friendship he has with the Ephesians; and he asks God to enlighten the eyes of their hearts so they can experience Him more fully.

Paul asked the Lord to give them a Spirit of wisdom and understanding, not so they would be smarter, but so they could know Him better. And then Paul prayed for their hearts to be enlightened. He didn’t ask the Lord to give them higher IQs or expand their ability to comprehend deep doctrinal issues, Paul prayed for their hearts because a tender heart is far more important to God than a brilliant brain, and that is happy news for ALL of us.

Paul also talks about the power that is available to them (and us). Through the presence of the Holy Spirit living in us, we have the same power that raised Christ from the dead and seated Him at the right hand of the Father in Heaven. Think about that expenditure of divine energy for a minute: all the demonic forces of evil came against Jesus, and He DEFEATED them. Satan’s goal was to keep Jesus dead and in the grave, but He arose and ascended to His Father’s right hand. If you’ve ever seen The Passion of The Christ you’ll remember the gruesome image of Jesus hanging on the cross after His scourging. And three days later all of those lacerations, wounds and bruises were healed. There were scars, but He was whole. Think about the POWER that accomplished that feat alone! As we pray, do we realize we have access to that kind of power? Do we LIVE like we have access to that kind of power?

One of the biggest sources of earthly power is the Hoover Dam.  Its generators can provide electricity to 1.7 million homes, but somebody somewhere needs to flip the switch that starts the engines that release electricity to those homes.

Imagine there is a heavenly barrier like the Hoover Dam that holds back God’s blessings and power.  God can provide those to us, but He wants somebody somewhere to flip the switch of prayer so He can release them to the earth.  Oh, to be sure, God can do WHATEVER He wants WHENEVER He wants to WHOMEVER He wants, but He has designed prayer as our way of communicating with Him.

Prayer is also a way we can encourage others as we pray for them and with them.  As we pray for each other, we remember their needs and concerns and are not always focused on ourselves.  As we pray with them we can help them to focus on God and encourage them to be persistent and faithful as they wait for His answer.

Another amazing thing about prayer is that it’s not only about us in the earthly realm, but it’s also about God Himself.  God desires fellowship with us, and as crazy as that seems, it blesses Him when we pray!  Let that sink in – we BLESS God when we communicate with Him in prayer.  WE BLESS GOD.  Wow.

So let’s talk to Him. It’s not hard.  In fact, it’s just a breath away.

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us…” ~Eph 3:20 (NIV)

Ephesians 1a - RICH Blessings in Christ Jesus

How would you define the word "RICH"?  Having lots of money? Owning a lot of property? Driving a luxury car? Do you picture Bill Gates? Donald Trump? Warren Buffet? Or do you imagine something dark and smooth and chocolately?  (Thanks, Marcha!)  Webster's Dictionary defines it as having wealth or great possessions; abundantly supplied with resources, means or funds; wealthy; abounding; of great value or worth.  Strong's Concordance includes full, abundant, plentiful.

By cultural standards, being rich means having the finer things found in the world; but by God's standards, being rich means sharing the blessings found in Christ Jesus. As Paul greeted the church in verses 3-14, he unpacked a veritable treasure chest of infinite and eternal blessings that he wanted those faithful saints to remember:  In Christ, we are

• chosen (elected, v4)
• predestined (v5)
• adopted (v5)
• graced (v6)
• redeemed (v7)
• forgiven (v7)
• graced some more! (v7)
• knowledgeable (v9)
• for the praise of His glory (v12)
• included (v13)
• marked (v13)
• sealed (v13)
• given a deposit (v14)
• given an inheritance (v14)

In those verses Paul mentions all three persons of the Godhead: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.  Although Three in One, Each is distinct and Each plays a part in our salvation.  The oversimplified bottom line is: God chooses us, Jesus redeems us, and the Holy Spirit seals us!

(One of my commentaries described the Holy Spirit as God's engagement ring to the bride of Christ - a promise of the wedding to come. What a great metaphor - it makes me long for the wedding supper of the Lamb in Revelation 19!)

As believers in the age of grace, it's amazing to ponder the role of the Holy Spirit in our lives: 

• indwells us (John 14:17)
• comforts us in our grief (2 Cor 1:4) 
• convicts us of our sin (John 16:8)
• encourages us in our struggles (John 14:26) 
• rejoices with us in our victories (Zeph 3:17)
• speaks to us through God's Word (1 Cor 2:13)
• directs our steps (Is 30:21)
• transforms our minds (2 Cor 3:18)
• reveals God's truths (John 16:13)
• gives us peace to guard our hearts (Phil 4:7)
• equips us to serve (1 Cor 12:7) 
• speaks through us to encourage others (Eph 5:19)
• marks us as believers (Eph 1:13)
• seals us to secure our salvation (Eph 4:30)

And that's just scratching the surface! One day in Heaven we'll look back over the course of our lives and see everything He did.  We'll see that He moved in ways we never knew and blessed in ways we couldn't have imagined. 

How then shall we live? 

With humble hearts - our blessings aren't because of anything we've done to deserve them, they are because of the grace and mercy of the Lord Jesus. With forgiving hearts - Christ forgave us, so then we must forgive others. With grateful hearts - our blessings have been freely given, so we should freely give and serve so we can be a blessing to others. 

As we continue our study of Ephesians, we'll see several words repeated throughout the letter: grace, power, mystery, riches, faith, body/church, and inheritance. We'll also see a phrase repeated, and it's found ten times in verses 3-14 alone: in Christ Jesus.

No amount of money, real estate or things will ever truly satisfy us. No millionaire lifestyle will fully secure us. A delicious dessert may sate our appetites for a time, but the infinite, eternal and rich blessings that our souls desperately long for can only be found in Christ Jesus.

Final Goodbyes

"... he knelt down with all of them and prayed.  They all wept as they embraced him and kissed him... After we had torn ourselves away from them, we put out to sea..."

If you had been given some bad news and didn't know how much longer you had to live, who would you want to spend time with?

When people get this kind of news, one of the first things they do is get things squared away at work, then they focus on having time to spend with family and friends.  In their darkest hours, they want their closest friends and immediate family nearby.  It's what Jesus did the last week of His life, and it's what the apostle Paul did when he feared his life was drawing to a close.

Paul spent quite a bit of time in jail or in shackles or being hustled out of cities because his friends feared for his life.  Even though he lived there for a couple of years, the city of Ephesus was no exception.

Like many of the cities Paul visited, Ephesus was a large cosmopolitan city on the sea.  There was a lot of trade and commercial activity as well as a lot of religious activity.  Ephesus was home to the temple of Artemis, the goddess of fertility.  This didn't intimidate Paul, and he did what he normally did - went to the synagogue to reason with the Jews, then turned his attention to the Gentiles and established a church.

Paul's first visit to Ephesus was at the end of his second missionary journey, and it was little more than a "drive-by."  His message was well-received and the people wanted him to stay longer but Paul's schedule was tight so he kept going.  But he left his friends Priscilla and Aquila behind to minister to them.

Paul revisited Ephesus on his third missionary journey and he lived there for a couple of years.  His ministry was fruitful in Asia Minor, so fruitful that it was cutting into the local economy.

Local craftsmen made a lot of money selling statues and temple articles to people who came to visit the temple.  With people coming to faith in Jesus, the temple business dropped off and it angered the local craftsmen who created a ruckus/riot in the city.  After much shouting and pushing and confusion, Paul's buddies hustled him out of the city and sent him on through Macedonia.  His third missionary journey continued but it wasn't easy.  Not only did Paul face opposition from the locals, he had problems with the Jewish leaders in each city.

Paul had made no small number of enemies among the Jewish leaders in the various cities he visited.  When he visited the synagogues and tried to reason with the leaders about who Jesus was, his message fell on deaf ears... that were attached to hard hearts and furious minds.  Word made it back to the Jewish leaders in Jerusalem that Paul, who was once a well-respected Pharisee, was speaking against their laws and traditions and they wanted him STOPPED.  In fact, many of them wanted to kill him.  So at the end of his journey, Paul headed back to Jerusalem to go on trial before the Jewish leaders.

As he made his way to Jerusalem, Paul made a couple of stops to visit with friends he had made along the way. It wasn't safe for him to return to Ephesus, so he asked the church to visit him a little way down the coast at Miletus.  It was here they had their tearful goodbye and escorted Paul and his companions to their ship.

Paul loved his friends in Ephesus so much that he wrote a letter to them when he was under house arrest in Rome.  Unlike many of his letters, this one doesn't address problems or controversies in the church.  The letter to the Ephesians was intended to build them up in their faith.  The first half of the letter described who they were in Christ and the blessings they had because of Him, and the second half detailed how they were to live that out in their relationships.

Proverbs 17:17 tells us "A friend loves at all times..." but I love how that verse is translated in The Message: "Friends love through all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble."  We will always have troubles and hardships in life, but we don't have to face them by ourselves.  When we invest ourselves in the lives of others, the return we receive on that investment is immeasurable.  And some of those friends may well be the ones we call to us in our darkest hours.