Monday, November 29, 2010

Happy Music Monday - Christmas: What Child Is This

I promise this version will give you chills, one of the most unusual and BEST vocal pairings I've ever heard - Andrea Bocelli and Mary J Blige
And it's available on iTunes so hurry and download it!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Random Wednesdays - Thanksgiving

This is my favorite time of the year, even more than Christmas. What could be better than a huge meal with the people you love to kick-off the beginning of all the Christmas fun?! Plus it reminds me to reflect on all the things I'm thankful for, and there are a heavenly PLENTY of them.

Things like:

  • family and friends
  • living in America, and in particular SW VA
  • food, clothes and shelter
  • opportunities
  • creature comforts that are too many to list
  • God's grace, mercy, forgiveness, peace, comfort, joy, hope... the list of blessings that coming from knowing Christ Jesus are too many to list!

Look Ma, no NG tube!
Something else I'm VERY thankful for, and not just on Thanksgiving day but EVERY day, is good health. Some of y'all know this is a BIG one for me considering that I spent back-to-back Thanksgivings recovering from surgery. The first one (2007) was spent IN the hospital with a nasogastric tube (aka a hose up your nose). The next year (2008) I was released one day before Thanksgiving. Even though I had NO appetite, at least I wasn't in a hospital bed!

Some of the things that blessed me to no end during that time was the outpouring of love, prayers and help from my family and friends. We always had something good to eat, and lots of my sweet friends were sensitive to my queasy stomach and brought things they knew I would enjoy. My girlfriends would take me out for car rides so I could get out of the house. My sister Janet took me to run errands, and she and my bff Susan Lower decorated my house and put up my tree BOTH years, and that was a blessing beyond measure.

I learned a lot of lessons during that time, and I do mean a LOT, but one of them that really stuck is the power of the pen. Oh my gosh, I got SO many cards and notes during that time! That was one of the biggest encouragements, and nothing was better than walking to the mailbox (which was sometimes my exercise for the day) and finding a note from a friend. They seemed to miraculously come on a day when I was feeling down and convinced my crazy health-rollercoaster would never end. Note-writing seems to be a lost art in our world of electronic communication (which you know I LOVE) but there is something about a handwritten note. It can often seem like an insignificant thing to do for someone, but it's something the Lord can use it to speak to their heart.

So I keep a stash of note cards and stamps in my desk and I try to send notes to people as the Lord lays them on my heart. I go through periods where I'm pretty good, but this fall I've been a little lax. As I was praying for my friends who've lost family members in the last year, the Lord reminded me that their hurt will be particularly deep this year. Then I thought of friends who have had other losses like jobs and relationships. And some of my friends are just plain HURTING. Would they like to know that I'm praying for them and remembering that this Thanksgiving and Christmas might not be as easy to celebrate?

Team Stilwell
People all around us are hurting and needy, so one thing we're doing as a family Thanksgiving day is running in the Roanoke Rescue Mission's Drumstick Dash. (Actually, it won't be as much running as it will be powerwalking interspersed with an occasional jog!) This is one of their biggest fundraisers and helps the Rescue Mission do what it does best - reach out to the less fortunate. It was SO much fun last year and we saw lots of folks we knew, so we're making it a family tradition - as long as nobody is in the hospital!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Honor Your Father & Mother

Today I taught one of my favorite Life Group lessons as we studied Ephesians 6. I love this practical letter and I love the tidy way it's written: chapters 1-3 are WHO we are in Christ, chapters 4-6 are HOW we are to behave. Like a lot of our congregations, the Ephesian church didn't seem to have any glaring problems, so this letter from Paul was a lot like a friendly pep talk. Who couldn't use one of those from time to time!

Chapter 6 is a familiar passage to a lot of us, mainly because it follows the dreaded chapter 5. Paul has just addressed the relationship between husbands and wives (namely submission, which is actually a good and helpful thing if people would take the time to learn what it really IS). He now continues his instruction on harmony in the home as he turns his attention to the parent-child relationship:

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother'--which is the first commandment with a promise-- that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." ~Eph 6:1-4

For many in our class, our child-rearing days are long past. Even though it is hard to discipline kids, no matter WHAT age, the benefits are SO worth it. Undisciplined children are never happy or satisfied, and they are disappointed in relationships because they can't always get their way. They also don't respect authority in the home, which means they won't respect authority OUT of the home. It's a parent's job to train and instruct their children so they can be mature adults who know who they are in Christ and how they are to relate to others. Even when our children are adults, we can still instruct and train by talking to them about our mistakes and the things that concern us as we age.

And aging parents... that's something many of us are dealing with now. There are special considerations with aging, particularly when mental faculties become impaired. I have several friends whose parents are in the throes of dementia and Alzheimers. How tragic it is to watch your parents become forgetful, lose their independence, and even forget who you are. There are tough decisions to be made and they can often put family members at odds with each other. While there are no easy answers and every situation is unique, full-time supervised care is often in the best interest of the parent and the family grieves over those decisions.

Sometimes family dysfunction makes it difficult to honor and care for parents, but regardless of the level of dysfunction in the family, and since we're all flawed I would dare say that every family has at least a some level of dysfunction, our parents have made sacrifices for us and love us and it's our responsibility to honor them. In fact, we are commanded to honor them AND it's the first commandment with a promise - if we honor our parents, things will go well with us and we'll live a long life!

(Please understand that I'm not trivializing dysfunction. When there are serious issues like abuse, it's VERY important to find a godly professional counselor who can help sort through those issues. Healing isn't easy but it IS possible. We serve a God who raised Christ Jesus from the dead and He can also breathe new life into dead or dying relationships.)

We brainstormed some ideas about how we, as adults, can honor our parents. We came up with a great list:
  • spend time with them
  • talk with them
  • ask questions about their history
  • understand their personality
  • ask them for advice
  • include them in your life
  • be thankful for them
  • look out for their best interests
  • forgive them 
  • be gracious to them
  • respectfully listen to them tell stories over and over and over :)
(I will confess that I am more than mildly convicted here and have a lot of room for improvement.)

One funny thing we admitted is that every parent has eccentricities and idiosyncrasies, and they seem to become more pronounced with age. To protect the innocent (and keep peace in the family) I won't list any of them here, but YOU KNOW what I'm talking about! Sometimes we feel like we need to step in and try to correct them,  but that's not always the case. Sometimes it's just something that gets under OUR skin and others find endearing and amusing. And that led me to this epiphany:

If it doesn't endanger their LIFE (physical health and safety) or their LIVELIHOOD (financial situation, well-being, independence), LET IT GO. Understand their individual personality and temperament, and appreciate their uniqueness. And when you feel yourself groaning or feeling frustrated, just take a deep breath and remember - they are providing you with stories to tell your grandchildren!

Being able to graciously and patiently smile at little irritants will go a long way in keeping harmony in the house, and more importantly it will set an example for OUR children, because before long WE will be the aging parents with the idiosyncrasies and eccentricities ... How will we want our children to treat US?

Friday, November 19, 2010

Flashback Friday - here come the kids!


I am beside myself with joy because the kids are coming home for Thanksgiving -- for the WHOLE WEEK and we are killing the fatted calf!  Well, not literally since we don't farm but I HAVE stocked up on all the necessary snacks and comfort food!


So here's the plan: my sweet Sarah wants to sit on the couch in our PJs, eat Lime Tostidos and watch West Side Story. Then we'll break open the white cheddar popcorn and watch Sound of Music if we can't find a copy of My Fair Lady. The guys will roll their eyes and probably head to Buffalo Wild Wings to watch 15 football games at once. What-EVER

One thing I won't be doing much of is shopping. I will confess that I have purchased exactly ONE Christmas gift, a special something for a certain JMU freshman. I bought said gift when I was shopping with my BFF Sandi in Scottsdale. Last week my VT sophomore informed me that his Xbox got the "red ring of death" which sounded bad enough but then he told me it was FATAL, which means... everybody knows what he's getting.

Something cool I discovered is that I had been shopping and didn't even KNOW IT! Now granted, I can be a little scatterbrained at times (alright, a LOT scatterbrained), but that wasn't the case for once! The Gov brought in a bag of new clothes today, and they turned out to be MY Christmas gift to HIM! And I did QUITE a job! I'm not sure what all there was in that bag but I did see several new dress shirts with French cuffs, which is unusual for my preppy and conservative husband. So I've checked HIM off the list - which is a relief since he's the hardest person ON EARTH to shop for.

So really, I'm doing pretty well considering I've only actually "shopped" once! I'm going to try to get some decorating done while the kids are home since I can't bear the thought of decorating the tree by myself. No sir-ree, NOT going there. So the kids will help me and then take their own little trees back to college with them!

They told me they've been listening to Christmas music ALL MONTH. And it's not even Thanksgiving - what's up with THAT? Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Christmas music but... November??

November is a month for giving thanks...
for family, friends, good health, good doctors, good medicine, a favorable report, a restful sleep, a tasty meal, a comfortable home, a pretty drive, a beautiful sunset, a warm rain, a morning walk, a new adventure, an encouraging word, my little dog, a belly-laugh, a crossword puzzle, my morning  coffee, a fudgy brownie, a hot shower, clean water, warm bread, an interesting book, a happy song, fuzzy socks, tender care, a long embrace, a fresh insight, the right word, a call from someone you love, a knowing look, an inside joke, accomplishing a goal, feeling safe, knowing you're loved...

And then the really important things - Jesus, grace, mercy, forgiveness, freedom, faith, opportunities...

Every single day there is SO much -- THANK YOU, LORD!!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Random Wednesdays - I love my gadgets

Way back in the early 80s... and I mean the 1980s... when dinosaurs roamed the earth and I was a student at Virginia Tech, I majored in computer science. The primary reason I did it was to secure gainful employment after graduation. My parents were old-school and told me (1) they would only pay for 4 years of college,and (2) at the end of the aforementioned 4 years I needed to have a job.

Mind you, it wasn't the perfect career match for me, of which I had an inkling during my sophomore year. Aside from the challenge of problem-solving, I didn't enjoy programming and I did what every floundering second-year student does - I took a career placement evaluation. Of course it confirmed my suspicions that I wasn't well-suited to a career in programming, but what I WAS suited for didn't pay enough to keep me out of my parent's house. So I stuck with the original plan and graduated with a BS in Computer Science, and it served me WELL, in more ways than one.

As it happened, I DID secure gainful employment immediately after graduation and I enjoyed working 8 years in the industry. (At the end of those 8 years I was a young mama with 2 babies, and it was time to move from systems support to domestic diva - a position I completely LOVED!)

More importantly, I gained a level of comfort and confidence with programming electronic devices, which been a skill that has paid off HANDSOMELY. My vcr NEVER blinked "12:00" and I embrace every programmable gadget that enters our house, much to the delight of the Gov.

Anybody who knows me AT ALL knows that I love my Blackberry and that little piece of plastic polymer is of great value to me because it has become my brain. It contains all my contacts, my calendar, my lists, my notes, my tunes I can't live without, my email...


And then there is my iPod... I won't get started on that except to say that it does almost everything that my Blackberry does except to function as a phone (which my Mac buddies tell me is my next frontier - iPhone)


And I have to mention my netbook. This little laptop has been halfway around the world with me, and is one of the handiest things I own. All I need is a back-up flash drive and I'm in business!

Way back in the day we couldn't imagine the technology that we have now. The thing that blows my mind is the storage - my co-workers and I never dreamed we'd need more than a gigabyte for personal/home storage, and we knew of a terabyte but couldn't even fathom that kind of storage. I've got a 16G memory card in my Blackberry that's the size of my pinkie fingernail and you can get a terabyte of storage at Staples. And for those of you who may be wondering, after terabyte comes petabyte. (No clue what comes after THAT.)

Technology is so cool - Just think of how far we've come with cell phones in the past 5 years, and what will they look like in another 5 years? Smartphones will be dumb, petabytes will the new standard, and who knows what kinds of apps we'll be using, but I'll be the geek studying the user guide and scouring the online forums to figure out how to use them all.

BUT... if something terrible happens and we end up gadget-less, I can always pursue the career I was best suited for... and this is not a joke:
Funeral Director.

Go figure.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Friday, November 12, 2010

Flashback Friday - from Ridgecrest to Richmond!

It's been a long and crazy week, but a really good one! I've spent the bulk of the week in Black Mountain, NC at Ridgecrest Training Center.  Lifeway Women put on a fabulous training event for women's ministry leaders.  Lots of great speakers, lots of great messages, lots of great worship, and lots of great encouragement for a group of tired leaders who love to serve but need an occasional jump-start!

I always like to look back at an event like this and try to condense what I've learned each day into a sentence or two, and then at the end try to boil it all down to a central thought. And this was it (for me) -

  • SEE them - those who are outcast or hurting or falling through the cracks
  • GO to them - to where they're comfortable, which isn't within the church doors
  • CONNECT with them - build relationships and share life
  • CONTRIBUTE to their lives - share Jesus with them, help them with practical needs, study the Word with them, speak truth into their lives

While I was there I got to hear some great speakers, including some newer voices - Margaret Feinberg and Kelly Minter. These gals are eloquent and passionate about their relationship with the Lord and are just sweet FRESH voices. I didn't have a lot of interaction with them but after hearing them both and looking over their published material, I'd describe Margaret as earthy and thoughtful, and Kelly as outdoorsy and compassionate. I really liked them a lot and I'm looking forward to reading their stuff.

And then there are those I know and love and got to see up-close-and-personal...
Angela Thomas
Travis Cottrell & Becky
FBCR Friends
Marcia, Becky, Jean, Bev,
Diane & Martha
It was also great to hang out with some of the gals I serve with on our Women's Min team at FBCR.

Four of us toured the Biltmore Estate in Asheville before we headed home. To call the Vanderbilt's mountain retreat expansive and opulent is a gross understatement. It's beyond amazing.
Christmas Lights at the Biltmore

After a long drive home, I tossed in a load of laundry, kissed the Gov, hit the hay and even slept IN. All the way to 7:30! After a couple of errands, I jump BACK in the car to get Sarah and take her to Richmond where we'll shop, hang out with Chaz and then watch our beloved HV Titan cheerleaders compete in the VHSL State Cheerleading Championship. This will be Sarah's first tournament in the stands, so it'll be bittersweet. We'll try to counter that bittersweetness with a stop at the Cheesecake Factory. 

That should do the trick :)

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Random Wednesdays - the fascination of our God!

First there was Happy Music Monday, because it's always good to start the week with a happy song in your heart. Now there is Random Wednesdays, because... well, just because. My family knows I have a lot of random thoughts, some deep and some not-so-deep. It's not my fault. God puts ideas in my head and I need them to come out. Maybe some of y'all can relate to my random thoughts, but if not - at least it'll make you ponder. Or laugh. Or roll your eyes. Whatever.

Today I was thinking about fireworks. At last week's Thursday Night ESPN College Football game, where my beloved Virginia Tech Hokies squeaked out a win over Georgia Tech (for heaven's sake, don't get the Stilwell men started on that), there was a huge fireworks display after the game. Remember how exciting it was to watch those as a little kid? Well, the little kid in me still thinks they are pretty exciting. This is probably because the little kid in me is more prominent than the grown-up in me. Anyway...


Historians tell us that the Chinese invented fireworks in the 12th century and they are still the world's leading manufacturer and exporter, but who came UP with that? Seriously, the idea of treating gunpowder to produce a kaleidoscopic shower of sparks, stuffing it in casings, layering the casings in a tube, and then igniting the tube and launching it into the sky? How amazing is THAT??


And how FUN is it to think that our Creator God, who spoke the world into existence and holds all things in the palm of His hand, put that idea into some Chinese dude's (or dude-ette's) head back in 1100-something?

As fascinated as I am with a flashy fireworks display, I want to be even more fascinated with God. He is the Author of fascination, wonder and delight and as I sit in His presence each day, not only do I want to find forgiveness, comfort, wisdom, grace, peace, joy... but I also want to find energy and excitement and amazement!

God can never run out of ways to thrill us, but I confess that it's something I don't really ask of Him. Oh, I spend time doing all the usual "prayer things" such as ACTS (adoration, confession, thanksgiving, supplication) but I wonder what He would do if I asked Him to fascinate me? Oh, I know He's not obligated to fascinate me, but that can't be a common prayer request, so I bet He'd at least chuckle! And just maybe... hmm.

Because I LOVE to study His Word, I suspect that will be the vehicle He uses most of the time. But He also  knows I'm constantly amazed at the beauty in nature with things such as sunrises, sunsets and flower blossoms. And expressions in art like building designs, dance steps and chord progressions.

I think it's fascinating the ideas He puts in people's heads.

All photos are used by permission of Jerald Winter Photography, my fabulously talented brother-in-law. Check out his magnificent photography!

Monday, November 8, 2010

Happy Music Monday - All Of Creation

I love the lyrics to this song, and the photography on this one is great. This band's name says it all: Mercy Me.