What was the last decision you had to make? Probably something fairly insignificant like what clothes to wear or what to have for dinner. What about the last BIG decision, the kind of decision that changed the course of your life?. I think about some of mine: becoming a Christian, college, relationships, career moves, marriage, children, temptations...
Everyone has decisions to make, some that are important and others that aren't a big deal. As we continue our study of Mark's gospel, we see in chapter 14 that the disciples faced with some pretty important decisions, but Jesus also had decisions to make, one of which changed the course of history.
Jesus observed the Passover meal with His disciples, fully knowing that his betrayer was sitting at the table with them. At the appropriate time He told the twelve that someone sitting among them would hand Him over to the authorities. I wonder about the conversation that followed Judas' getting up from the table and walking out of the room... Did any of them have an inkling that Judas was planning something? Did they wonder if they would be in danger as well? Would they be shocked to know that by this time tomorrow Jesus would be dead and they would be hiding??
Of course they had no clue what was coming, but Jesus knew. He knew every word, every event, and every detail of the next 24 HORRIFIC hours of His life. Not only would He be betrayed, but He would be abandoned by His friends, hustled through a series of sham trials, mocked, ridiculed, beaten to a bloody unrecognizable pulp and die the most humiliating death known to mankind. He knew every iota, but there still was a decision that faced Him.
As He and the disciples left the Upper Room and walked through the Kidron Valley to the garden of Gethsemane, no doubt the words of the hymn they'd just sung rang in Jesus' ears: "The cords of death entangle Me, the anguish of the grave came upon Me; I was overcome by trouble and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the Lord: 'O Lord, save me!'" (Ps 116:3-4, NIV) "I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord." (Ps 116:13, NIV)
They reached the garden and Jesus instructed eight of the disciples to sit there while He prayed. He took Peter, James and John deeper into the garden with Him and the farther they went, the more troubled Jesus became. He even told them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death." (Mark 14:34 NIV, emphasis mine) So the grief of His situation ALONE was enough to kill Him but He continued on, telling them to stay nearby and keep watch.
Jesus went even farther into the garden and prayed so intensely that His sweat was like great drops of blood. He cried out to His father, "Take this cup from Me. Yet not what I will, but what You will." (Mark 14:36b, NIV) His grief was intense, like nothing we can imagine. As I tried to imagine the Lord's cries I thought about the night following my niece's death. Excruciating sorrow, unimaginable heartbreak, rivers of tears. And that was just the beginning of the Lord Jesus' suffering.
The sound of His voice would have echoed through the gnarly old olive trees in the garden of Gethsemane. In fact, the Rock of Agony where it's believed that Jesus wept would have been a stone's throw from where the three disciples were. If they had managed to stay awake they would have easily heard His cries but because their bellies were full of roasted lamb and matzah, their fatigue was stronger than their fortitude. They hadn't understood what Jesus told them about His death, so they couldn't recognize the depth of His grief and they didn't share in His suffering.
Jesus wasn't shocked when Judas sauntered up to Him and kissed Him on the cheek. He didn't flinch when the armed guards seized Him. He probably wasn't all that surprised when Peter pulled out his sword and sliced off the ear of Malchus. But Jesus had to be disappointed when He saw the disciples scatter like rats, leaving Him alone with an angry mob that would soon escort Him to Golgatha.
Jesus KNEW what was ahead of Him as He agonized in the garden, and He understandably asked if there was ANY other way to accomplish His task. In fact, He'd wrestled with it earlier in the week as we see recorded in John 12:27-28a (NIV, emphasis mine), "Now My heart is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save Me from this hour?' No, it was for this very reason that I came to this hour. Father, glorify Your name!" Jesus' obedience fulfilled His purpose and not only changed the course of His life, but the course of history!
When God calls us to make a hard decision, it's understandable that we would ask for an easier way; but it may be that our obedience becomes a pivotal point that could change the course of our life and may be a part of fulfilling our purpose here on earth. And in that same vein, our DISobedience would also become a pivotal point that could change the course of our life and would KEEP us from fulfilling our purpose.
Hard decisions are just that - HARD, but because of Jesus' sacrifice we know that we'll never have to face them alone. He showed us exactly what to do: draw your friends near, PRAY, sense God's direction, and then to borrow a phrase from Nike: Just Do It.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
Stand Firm to the End (Mark 13)
I'm so glad the Olympics are on. I just love the athletes' stories, especially when they've endured hardship and overcome obstacles to reach their goals. Every one of those athletes had not only talent and vision, but they also had something that was crucial to their success: encouragement. As I finish studying and teaching from Mark's gospel, I'm noticing that a lot of what Jesus' last words to his disciples were just that - encouragement to stand firm in the days to come.
We continue with a look at Tuesday of Passion Week. Jesus taught and encouraged His disciples even though He knew that most of what He told them was going right over their heads. But thank goodness He did because it was not only important for them to hear, but also for US.
This Tuesday evening Jesus was sitting with Peter, James, John and Andrew on the Mount of Olives overlooking Jerusalem. What He taught them is referred to as the Olivet Discourse and it is His last recorded teaching. The next time we see them on the Mount of Olives the circumstances will be VERY different.
The disciples were still in the mindset of an earthly kingdom, although they were beginning to figure out that it wouldn't be smooth sailing. These four have asked Jesus about some of the signs that would let them know when His kingdom would begin. As Jesus answers their questions He also gives them some specific instructions:
1. Watch that no one deceives you. Many would come claiming to be a savior and deliverer. There would be wars and rumors, and there would be earthquakes and famines. But that would only be the beginning.
2. Be on your guard. They would be punished by religious authorities as well as civil ones, but they were to be His witness and allow the Holy Spirit to speak through them. There would be an increase in evil in those days so much so that families would turn on each other, and those who believed would be betrayed by their own family members.
Jesus then talks about some of the things that will happen during the Great Tribulation when the Antichrist comes to power. This is some seriously scary stuff, especially for the believing Jews in Israel. There will be an event that will come on suddenly and they will have to flee into the mountains to escape – if you can remember the panic of downtown New York City on Sept 11, 2001 you have the picture. There will also be celestial chaos as God takes His hand off the order of the heavens. The Carl Sagans of that day will be at a total loss for how to explain it.
Now that was quite a lot to digest, so Jesus changes gears at this point and I have an idea why He did – I think the disciples had glazed over from information overload!! I can say that because I’ve seen that look! Because Jesus was the Master Teacher, He went back to a style that recaptured their attention (and made it easier to understand): parables. Matthew and Luke record several of them, but Mark saw the need to only include two: The fig tree and the servant.
3. Learn this lesson from the fig tree. A couple of days before this Jesus had cursed a fruitless fig tree and it died, so no doubt this event was fresh in the disciples’ minds. Jesus told them that as they saw the fig tree show signs of life and growth that the end was near. There is a lot of scholarly speculation about this parable but the important thing is that we'll know His coming is near when there is an increase in wars, earthquakes and famines (just to name a few).
4. Be on guard. Now Jesus tells them what they DON’T know, even He Himself – the timing. The parable of the servant warns us to always be ready because we never know when the Master will return. Keep watch and don't let Him find you sleeping. (Too bad they didn't remember this on Thursday night.)
5. Watch! This is the bottom line of the lesson for ALL of us, regardless of what time in history we live. And this doesn’t just apply to end-times, but to ANY time.
We will all have tribulation in life so the lessons for us are the same: Don’t be deceived by what the world says. Be on guard and don't be surprised when people hate us because we are Christians. Be a bold witness regardless of what happens. Learn the lessons from whatever trial we are under and watch that we are living to honor the Lord. And know that the closer we get to the end the more trouble we should expect, but remember - tribulation won't last forever because Jesus is coming back!!
One of the things that struck me as I studied this passage was Jesus telling them not to be deceived when somebody says “Look, there is the Christ!” When Jesus returns in His glory NOBODY is going to have to TELL us to look – it will be plain for all the world to see! Read what John recorded in Rev 19:11 -
“I saw Heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose Rider is called Faithful and True…” When the Lord rolls back the skies so that Heaven is STANDING OPEN, it’s going to be crystal clear Who it is and why He’s here!
MARANATHA!!
We continue with a look at Tuesday of Passion Week. Jesus taught and encouraged His disciples even though He knew that most of what He told them was going right over their heads. But thank goodness He did because it was not only important for them to hear, but also for US.
This Tuesday evening Jesus was sitting with Peter, James, John and Andrew on the Mount of Olives overlooking Jerusalem. What He taught them is referred to as the Olivet Discourse and it is His last recorded teaching. The next time we see them on the Mount of Olives the circumstances will be VERY different.
The disciples were still in the mindset of an earthly kingdom, although they were beginning to figure out that it wouldn't be smooth sailing. These four have asked Jesus about some of the signs that would let them know when His kingdom would begin. As Jesus answers their questions He also gives them some specific instructions:
1. Watch that no one deceives you. Many would come claiming to be a savior and deliverer. There would be wars and rumors, and there would be earthquakes and famines. But that would only be the beginning.
2. Be on your guard. They would be punished by religious authorities as well as civil ones, but they were to be His witness and allow the Holy Spirit to speak through them. There would be an increase in evil in those days so much so that families would turn on each other, and those who believed would be betrayed by their own family members.
Jesus then talks about some of the things that will happen during the Great Tribulation when the Antichrist comes to power. This is some seriously scary stuff, especially for the believing Jews in Israel. There will be an event that will come on suddenly and they will have to flee into the mountains to escape – if you can remember the panic of downtown New York City on Sept 11, 2001 you have the picture. There will also be celestial chaos as God takes His hand off the order of the heavens. The Carl Sagans of that day will be at a total loss for how to explain it.
Now that was quite a lot to digest, so Jesus changes gears at this point and I have an idea why He did – I think the disciples had glazed over from information overload!! I can say that because I’ve seen that look! Because Jesus was the Master Teacher, He went back to a style that recaptured their attention (and made it easier to understand): parables. Matthew and Luke record several of them, but Mark saw the need to only include two: The fig tree and the servant.
3. Learn this lesson from the fig tree. A couple of days before this Jesus had cursed a fruitless fig tree and it died, so no doubt this event was fresh in the disciples’ minds. Jesus told them that as they saw the fig tree show signs of life and growth that the end was near. There is a lot of scholarly speculation about this parable but the important thing is that we'll know His coming is near when there is an increase in wars, earthquakes and famines (just to name a few).
4. Be on guard. Now Jesus tells them what they DON’T know, even He Himself – the timing. The parable of the servant warns us to always be ready because we never know when the Master will return. Keep watch and don't let Him find you sleeping. (Too bad they didn't remember this on Thursday night.)
5. Watch! This is the bottom line of the lesson for ALL of us, regardless of what time in history we live. And this doesn’t just apply to end-times, but to ANY time.
We will all have tribulation in life so the lessons for us are the same: Don’t be deceived by what the world says. Be on guard and don't be surprised when people hate us because we are Christians. Be a bold witness regardless of what happens. Learn the lessons from whatever trial we are under and watch that we are living to honor the Lord. And know that the closer we get to the end the more trouble we should expect, but remember - tribulation won't last forever because Jesus is coming back!!
One of the things that struck me as I studied this passage was Jesus telling them not to be deceived when somebody says “Look, there is the Christ!” When Jesus returns in His glory NOBODY is going to have to TELL us to look – it will be plain for all the world to see! Read what John recorded in Rev 19:11 -
“I saw Heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose Rider is called Faithful and True…” When the Lord rolls back the skies so that Heaven is STANDING OPEN, it’s going to be crystal clear Who it is and why He’s here!
MARANATHA!!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Priorities and Sacrifices (Mark 12)
Ok, part 2 of the lesson I didn't get to teach. I thought about combining it with the lesson on Mark 13 but He sent my brain in a different direction on chapter 13. So... here is part two of Mark 12.
It's Passion Week and Jesus continues to be grilled by the religious establishment. It seems He's able to step away for a teachable moment with a very surprising lesson on giving and sacrifice: the widow's mite.
The crowd was gathering to put their offerings in the temple treasury. Many of the rich people were putting in large sums of money, but the gift that captured the attention of the Lord was two small coins.
"Calling the disciples to Him, Jesus said, 'I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything - all she had to live on.'" (Mark 12:43-44) I began to think about her and what she gave - it was a true sacrifice, giving up one thing of GREAT value (her daily provision) to get another thing of even GREATER value (showing God that she was totally dependent on Him).
I boarded this train of thought and went for quite a ride. What are some of the things I value? I know the right answer to this AND the proper order: God, family, friends, myself. Check. But then I rode a little further... I value my health, freedom, relationships, time, ministry, job, opportunities, productivity, relaxation, possessions, hobbies and recreation, information, entertainment, convenience, ease, familiarity, speed, proximity, having a routine, communication... (Oh wow, I am missing my Koinonia buddies here...help!!) My train of thought pulled into the station with my bags of values in tow.
When I really thought about it, I was surprised at some of those things. I value information. Really? Yes - with a couple of mouse clicks I can have a WEALTH of information before my eyes, and QUICK too, so I also value speed. I value proximity which is why I pay more for groceries than I probably should because I'd rather go to the Kroger that's near my house than drive across town to the Super Walmart. I value convenience which is why all the cakes I bake have their beginnings in a box!
Anybody who knows me AT ALL will attest to the fact that I value communication! Yes indeedie I DO. It's why I have a desktop computer, a netbook AND a blackberry! I shop online, bank online, research online, listen to music and sermons online, communicate online... Yes, I know what you're thinking -- I need a 12-step program, and I probably do BUT I think of it as an issue of stewardship... we're entrusted with all this technology so we need to know how to best USE IT!! (The glass is half-full, people.)
Anyway, I value a lot of different things AND it dawned on me -- the things I value have become priorities and are reflected by my choices, even if it's just for a given moment. And I've found that sometimes I make the right choices, sacrificing some things for greater ones, but not always. I'm making some choices that aren't so good and I'm sacrificing greater things for lesser ones. Things like choosing to -
Watch late-night tv (and waking up tired) instead of going to sleep (and waking up rested)... say that smart-alecky remark (and getting it off my chest) instead of holding my tongue (and being gracious)... take the easy or familiar way (comfort) instead of learning a new way (growth)... waste time surfing the internet instead of cleaning the house... shop instead of fix dinner... have an extra serving instead of eating in moderation... the more I thought, the worse I felt!
BUT... sometimes I get it right, like when I choose to...
skip exercise class to walk with Steve... get off Facebook to watch Project Runway with Sarah... close the commentaries to chat with Scott... turn off the tv to catch up on my reading... put the chore aside to go to hang out with the kids...
I like to keep a to-do list and it's good for me to have a routine, but I can't live by a list of rules or a hard-and-fast schedule. I find it suffocating and, after having two active kids, I also find it impractical, at least at our house! There are times that it is necessary to work late, but times it isn't. Times that it's fine to sleep late, and times that I shouldn't. Times that I need to sign a kid out of school early, and times that I won't.
I think the key to balanced living and setting priorities is to keep the main thing the main thing, and I love the JOY acronym: Jesus, Others, You. Everything has a trade-off, so we need to always think about balance, and make sure the things that take priority in our lives are the things that have eternal value.
One thing that has really seared into my brain after unpacking from this little train of thought ride is what God values. Remember my earlier definition of sacrifice: giving up one thing of GREAT value to get another thing of GREATER value. Now apply that to the sacrifice of Jesus:
God gave up His Son, a Person of GREAT value, to get another person of GREATER value, ME. And YOU. Seriously?? He considered US to be of greater value to Him than His own SON??
YES. He DID. Hard to believe, isn't it?
Now hop on that train of thought and ride it...
It's Passion Week and Jesus continues to be grilled by the religious establishment. It seems He's able to step away for a teachable moment with a very surprising lesson on giving and sacrifice: the widow's mite.
The crowd was gathering to put their offerings in the temple treasury. Many of the rich people were putting in large sums of money, but the gift that captured the attention of the Lord was two small coins.
"Calling the disciples to Him, Jesus said, 'I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything - all she had to live on.'" (Mark 12:43-44) I began to think about her and what she gave - it was a true sacrifice, giving up one thing of GREAT value (her daily provision) to get another thing of even GREATER value (showing God that she was totally dependent on Him).
I boarded this train of thought and went for quite a ride. What are some of the things I value? I know the right answer to this AND the proper order: God, family, friends, myself. Check. But then I rode a little further... I value my health, freedom, relationships, time, ministry, job, opportunities, productivity, relaxation, possessions, hobbies and recreation, information, entertainment, convenience, ease, familiarity, speed, proximity, having a routine, communication... (Oh wow, I am missing my Koinonia buddies here...help!!) My train of thought pulled into the station with my bags of values in tow.
When I really thought about it, I was surprised at some of those things. I value information. Really? Yes - with a couple of mouse clicks I can have a WEALTH of information before my eyes, and QUICK too, so I also value speed. I value proximity which is why I pay more for groceries than I probably should because I'd rather go to the Kroger that's near my house than drive across town to the Super Walmart. I value convenience which is why all the cakes I bake have their beginnings in a box!
Anybody who knows me AT ALL will attest to the fact that I value communication! Yes indeedie I DO. It's why I have a desktop computer, a netbook AND a blackberry! I shop online, bank online, research online, listen to music and sermons online, communicate online... Yes, I know what you're thinking -- I need a 12-step program, and I probably do BUT I think of it as an issue of stewardship... we're entrusted with all this technology so we need to know how to best USE IT!! (The glass is half-full, people.)
Anyway, I value a lot of different things AND it dawned on me -- the things I value have become priorities and are reflected by my choices, even if it's just for a given moment. And I've found that sometimes I make the right choices, sacrificing some things for greater ones, but not always. I'm making some choices that aren't so good and I'm sacrificing greater things for lesser ones. Things like choosing to -
Watch late-night tv (and waking up tired) instead of going to sleep (and waking up rested)... say that smart-alecky remark (and getting it off my chest) instead of holding my tongue (and being gracious)... take the easy or familiar way (comfort) instead of learning a new way (growth)... waste time surfing the internet instead of cleaning the house... shop instead of fix dinner... have an extra serving instead of eating in moderation... the more I thought, the worse I felt!
BUT... sometimes I get it right, like when I choose to...
skip exercise class to walk with Steve... get off Facebook to watch Project Runway with Sarah... close the commentaries to chat with Scott... turn off the tv to catch up on my reading... put the chore aside to go to hang out with the kids...
I like to keep a to-do list and it's good for me to have a routine, but I can't live by a list of rules or a hard-and-fast schedule. I find it suffocating and, after having two active kids, I also find it impractical, at least at our house! There are times that it is necessary to work late, but times it isn't. Times that it's fine to sleep late, and times that I shouldn't. Times that I need to sign a kid out of school early, and times that I won't.
I think the key to balanced living and setting priorities is to keep the main thing the main thing, and I love the JOY acronym: Jesus, Others, You. Everything has a trade-off, so we need to always think about balance, and make sure the things that take priority in our lives are the things that have eternal value.
One thing that has really seared into my brain after unpacking from this little train of thought ride is what God values. Remember my earlier definition of sacrifice: giving up one thing of GREAT value to get another thing of GREATER value. Now apply that to the sacrifice of Jesus:
God gave up His Son, a Person of GREAT value, to get another person of GREATER value, ME. And YOU. Seriously?? He considered US to be of greater value to Him than His own SON??
YES. He DID. Hard to believe, isn't it?
Now hop on that train of thought and ride it...
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Loving the Lord with ALL (Mark 12)
I am SO bummed that I'm not going to get to teach this lesson in person!! Unfortunately the snow has amended our church schedule AGAIN. Ugh. I start my lesson prep on Mondays, so when Thursday rolls around it has fully baked and is ready for a plate! So no banquet in the Bible with my friends this week, but it's too good a message to keep bottled up.
At this point in the text we have moved into Passion Week. Jesus made His triumphal entry into Jerusalem on Sunday and was spending His remaining days teaching and preparing the disciples for what's ahead but, bless their hearts, they STILL weren't getting it. The religious authorities have turned up the heat on our Lord, trying to trip Him up at every turn and taking every available opportunity to defame Him.
Verse 1 of chapter 12 is a continuation of the verbal sparring with the Pharisees. They have now teamed up with the Herodians, the Roman zealots. Highly unlikely co-conspirators. In the midst of the debate, a teacher of the Law asks Jesus a question, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?" No doubt he is thinking about the 613 mitzvot, the Law of Moses -- 365 don'ts and 248 do's. Yep, a list. A big LONG list. And he asked Jesus to pick ONE.
I love Jesus' response. He starts with the Shema, a familiar Jewish prayer: "Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength." Then He continues, "and love your neighbor as yourself." Matthew's gospel goes on to explain that these two things incorporate all the teachings of the prophets and satisfy all the demands of the Law.
When you think about loving God, what are some things that come to mind?? Can you STRETCH that?
One of my favorite counseling resources is Gary Chapman's, "The Five Love Languages." It's nearly 20 years old but still good stuff. He believes that most people have a primary and a secondary love language. While God's love for us transcends our comprehension and definition, it's worth taking a minute to think about how He uses all five languages to love on US.
Stay tuned for Part 2, Priorities and Sacrifices... Tuesday...
At this point in the text we have moved into Passion Week. Jesus made His triumphal entry into Jerusalem on Sunday and was spending His remaining days teaching and preparing the disciples for what's ahead but, bless their hearts, they STILL weren't getting it. The religious authorities have turned up the heat on our Lord, trying to trip Him up at every turn and taking every available opportunity to defame Him.
Verse 1 of chapter 12 is a continuation of the verbal sparring with the Pharisees. They have now teamed up with the Herodians, the Roman zealots. Highly unlikely co-conspirators. In the midst of the debate, a teacher of the Law asks Jesus a question, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?" No doubt he is thinking about the 613 mitzvot, the Law of Moses -- 365 don'ts and 248 do's. Yep, a list. A big LONG list. And he asked Jesus to pick ONE.
I love Jesus' response. He starts with the Shema, a familiar Jewish prayer: "Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength." Then He continues, "and love your neighbor as yourself." Matthew's gospel goes on to explain that these two things incorporate all the teachings of the prophets and satisfy all the demands of the Law.
When you think about loving God, what are some things that come to mind?? Can you STRETCH that?
One of my favorite counseling resources is Gary Chapman's, "The Five Love Languages." It's nearly 20 years old but still good stuff. He believes that most people have a primary and a secondary love language. While God's love for us transcends our comprehension and definition, it's worth taking a minute to think about how He uses all five languages to love on US.
- Words of Affirmation: the Bible, encouraging words from someone who loves us, devotional readings, sermons, songs etc.
- Quality Time: He's Jehovah Shammah - our constant Companion Who will never leave us. He also sends people into our lives who can spend time with us and share our experiences.
- Gifts: the ultimate Gift - Jesus!! But all the other provisions and blessings: family, friends, food, clothing, shelter, education and job opportunities, ministries, sunny days, rainy days, SNOWY days...
- Acts of Service: the Body of Christ reaching out in our time of need (illness, death, celebration, confusion, disaster, etc)
- Physical Touch: we haven't reached the point that we can touch Him in His glory, but He does touch us with nature and also in relationships.
- Words of Affirmation: praise, worship, sharing your faith with others
- Quality Time: prayer, studying and mediating on the Word, being STILL before Him (my biggest challenge!) -- doing these things individually AND corporately
- Gifts: money and resources, but also time and possessions
- Acts of Service: using your spiritual gifts and talents to build up the Body and to meet the needs of others
- Physical Touch: being sensitive to the people He puts in your path and knowing when somebody needs a hug!
Stay tuned for Part 2, Priorities and Sacrifices... Tuesday...
Friday, February 5, 2010
It happened one Friday...
One year ago, Friday Feb 6, we lost our sweet Karis Amanda Winter. The Lord used her to bless our lives for 7 short years and then called her home. It broke our hearts. It still does. It always will.
It's been a hard year of "firsts" - the first Mother's Day and Father's Day without her. The first birthday without her. The first holiday season without her. And now we come to the first anniversary of her homegoing, and we've somehow survived it.
It's the worst kind of grief, and there are no words to describe it. So much of the year seems like a blur to me, and I am just her aunt. It breaks my heart to imagine what Monica and Jerald have to process on a daily basis, and I wonder if they look back at this year and remember much of it. Kinda like driving back and forth to work every day -- you know you do it, but you can't remember anything that happened along the way.
I wonder if that might be one of God's ways of helping us heal. Maybe He gives us just enough grace and strength to get up out of bed and put one foot in front of the other, and before long... days turn into weeks and months and years. And you settle into a new "normal" and life goes on. You never get OVER it, you just somehow muddle THROUGH it.
There are certain things we WILL forget, which is good. Things like pulling up to the house and being stopped by the police as they finished their search. But there are other things we might forget but shouldn't because they are such clear evidences of God's grace and provision to us at that time. Some of the things that really blessed ME were...
So this first year has been heartbreaking, but the Lord has been faithful. And in the midst of the tears, our hearts can sing.
"God made me and everything
that in this world I see
For His own glory
God made everything
And ME!"
I miss you Krazy K, and can't wait for my hug :)
It's been a hard year of "firsts" - the first Mother's Day and Father's Day without her. The first birthday without her. The first holiday season without her. And now we come to the first anniversary of her homegoing, and we've somehow survived it.
It's the worst kind of grief, and there are no words to describe it. So much of the year seems like a blur to me, and I am just her aunt. It breaks my heart to imagine what Monica and Jerald have to process on a daily basis, and I wonder if they look back at this year and remember much of it. Kinda like driving back and forth to work every day -- you know you do it, but you can't remember anything that happened along the way.
I wonder if that might be one of God's ways of helping us heal. Maybe He gives us just enough grace and strength to get up out of bed and put one foot in front of the other, and before long... days turn into weeks and months and years. And you settle into a new "normal" and life goes on. You never get OVER it, you just somehow muddle THROUGH it.
There are certain things we WILL forget, which is good. Things like pulling up to the house and being stopped by the police as they finished their search. But there are other things we might forget but shouldn't because they are such clear evidences of God's grace and provision to us at that time. Some of the things that really blessed ME were...
- Busting Sarah out of school to ride down and help, and the image of her scrolling through my cell phone contacts and helping me make all the necessary calls.
- Scott giving me his hand-me-down ipod, and downloading a praise song he heard in a dream earlier that week
- Monica and Jerald's home group coming to the house and praying over them.
- Beverly Moser, who walked that path of unspeakable grief herself eight years earlier.
- The throng of friends who came to visit them, especially the college students they loved.
- Chicken Pies :)
- My sister Janet and Jerald's cousin Lenita, two of the hardest-working gals you'll ever meet. They have such servant-hearts and they inspired me more than they will ever know.
- Uncle David and Dianna driving from Knoxville to spend Sunday afternoon with us.
- The notebook that I kept for Monica.
- Mike, the funeral home director.
- Olivia's birthday party that went on as usual, and all of Monica's girlfriends who made it happen.
- The friends who came to visitation. SO many friends, and not just Monica's and Jerald's, but MINE!
- Judy Jewell. A REAL jewel.
- The different ways my own kids processed their grief, and the blessing of helping them each work through it.
- My 'hoodies, who road-tripped down for the funeral.
- Pastor Hunter's pronouncing the massive Rinehart clan as "The Tribe" (a moniker we PROUDLY claim!)
- The Redeemer friends who fed The Tribe PLUS the other sides of the family after the interment - Many thanks to Diane and all the ladies for the wonderful meal
So this first year has been heartbreaking, but the Lord has been faithful. And in the midst of the tears, our hearts can sing.
"God made me and everything
that in this world I see
For His own glory
God made everything
And ME!"
I miss you Krazy K, and can't wait for my hug :)
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