In August we will move our daughter into a dorm at James Madison University, and my nest will be EMPTY. What will that BE like?? I am reflecting on my years as a stay-at-home mom who has been involved in about everything you can possibly be involved in as it concerns my children. I've purposely backed off in the past few years because I've seen the pitfalls of "helicopter parenting" so I've tried to teach my kids to navigate certain paths themselves, all the while doing my job as a parent. It's a fine line to walk, and I know I haven't done it perfectly but I've done it with the best intentions and with a heart full of love. So I hope that counts for something!!
And I know it DOES, but I'm still wondering what my life is going to look like in the fall. For years we've had a cheerleader on the sidelines, and now we won't. There are a lot of things that were once there, but now are not. It makes me sad and also makes me reevaluate what I'm doing NOW.
I posted this thought on Facebook and within minutes I had numerous "thumbs up" and the statement was just something that had been rolling through my brain for the last couple of days:
"Ever feel like the
things you do are taken for granted and unappreciated? Like you're
pouring water on a ROCK? Well, you're NOT. It's being noticed by the
One Who sees you and loves you like no other 'Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men...' Col 3:23 (ESV)"
I think it strikes a nerve because we ALL have "things" - jobs, relationships, tasks, etc - that we pour ourselves into and don't see any visible results. We may do these things for YEARS but never see that our efforts have made a difference. But does that mean we should give up?
Of course it depends on the "thing" because if it's something that isn't good or right, then of course we should stop! But if it's something good and right, like parenting a challenging child, working on a difficult relationship, caring for a sick loved one, showing love to the unlovable, giving grace to the ungracious, working for peace in the midst of conflict, being patient with the irritable and kind to the rude... keep this in mind, my favorite James Dobson quote EVER:
You are not responsible for the outcome, only the input.
The first lesson you'll ever learn in counseling is that you CAN'T change anyone but yourself, and I think that's an important thing to keep in mind every day. Do you're called to do with a full & grateful heart, and then leave the results to God. We never know when our efforts (and attitude) will be the proverbial "straw that breaks the camel's back" so keep parenting those children, keep working on that relationship, keep caring for those entrusted to you, keep bearing good fruit REGARDLESS of the situation because as we do all of those things we show the love of Christ.
And that's NOT spinning your wheels because HE sees you and He's the One who matters most.
I enjoyed reading this today; I think that's why I like to paint rooms in my house. You get so much reward for the effort....for years. You get to get up each morning and see an accomplishment! And, I will say, that the last 3 years of watching Katie blossom at college has been a type of accomplishment for me as well. All those years of trying to impart guidance and wisdom, are being echoed back. Maybe you've already seen some of that with Scott. Rhonda
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